The concept of childhood appeared for the first time during the seventeenth and eighteenth centuries through theories and books, but before that the child was seen as an incomplete version of the adult, and childhood was defined as the age period extending from birth to adolescence, and by reference to Piaget’s theory of growth it has Childhood is divided into two stages, the pre-operations stage and the concrete processes stage, while in the psychology of development it is divided into three stages:

early childhood, middle childhood and late childhood, and that the different childhood factors greatly affect the formation of a person’s behavior, whether positively or negatively, The experiences of the first years may be a stubborn character for the child, so parents wonder why the children ignore our commands.

Stubbornness in children

What are the causes of children’s stubbornness?

All parents have a certain knowledge that stubbornness in children is inevitable. Children tend to be especially stubborn during all of their first years of life, and the child may be stubborn because stubbornness is simply a way to test and confirm the limits of his freedom, or sometimes the child struggles to express his opinion on something.

Through stubbornness, and sometimes stubbornness is an inherent part of the child’s personality, and in order for parents not to reach their children in this situation, they must deal with children’s pressures in a correct manner and discipline the stubborn child by listening to him, dialogue with him, understanding him and providing an example and a good example by parents on acceptable behavior and cooperation.

Why do children ignore our commands?

Some homes may turn into a battlefield because children ignore the orders of their parents and act in rebellion. This disrupts family life, but with an understanding of why children ignore our orders, the house can regain the calm that was absent from it, and it can be explained through the characteristics of the stubborn child as follows:

esire to control A stubborn child wants to control and control his life more than other children, as they try to gain control, keep it, or regain it.

Social opportunism

Children have an intuitive speed in noticing the reactions of others and using these responses to their advantage.
When the child finds that his ignoring the commands meets his need, he continues to do so.

Not realizing their role in the problem

The child neglects to see how they affect the problem, but they are also convinced that the people around them or their families in particular are the ones who intentionally cause the problems.

  • The ability to withstand a great deal of negativity.
  • The child can withstand in order to reach his goal that the old person cannot bear, they bear the punishment and remain stubborn, and they win most of the time in battles because of their tolerance of escalating negativity.
  • The inflexible child The child may ignore orders because of his possession of an inflexible personality, that is, a personality that does not know to act appropriately in situations, and this child wants things to remain as they are because routine or habituation causes him safety.

Mistakes in raising a child

How can educators make mistakes in raising children?

Educators have been accustomed to adopting some methods when raising children, which they inherited from their parents, but these methods have proven to be ineffective and bad strategies that cause more harm than good, and these mistakes are an answer to the question: Why do children ignore our orders, and among the most prominent mistakes in raising children are the following Behavior plans:

Behavior plans: Plans that reward a child for good behavior encourage him to perform right only when there is a reward, and without that award, the child returns to his old behavior.

Saying without the action: Many parents order their children to do things they themselves are not committed to, so the individual cannot expect the child to change his inappropriate behavior if the educator performs the same behavior, because the child is affected by the teacher’s actions more than his words.

Ambiguity: Ambiguity is not giving a satisfactory explanation to the child on how to change his behavior, so it is not necessary to tell him only that he must improve his behavior, but rather how he can improve his behavior in a renewed way that he can follow, or the alternative behavior that must replace the current behavior.

Ending the possibility of change: Negative expressions are a major barrier for the child to change, as this descends from his desire to change, such as saying that he cannot do this or that or make him angry about doing this, so he implants negative thoughts about himself.

Educational methods to solve the problem of stubbornness about children

After knowing why children ignore our orders, it is necessary to know how to modify behavior by following educational methods to solve this problem radically, which calls for change on the side of parents and on the side of children to reach the optimal solution, and one of the most important educational methods That can be followed to solve the problem of stubbornness about children as follows:

The training camp can turn the house into a training camp, to train in good behaviors, and that is by agreeing on one behavior that is to be changed and then determining the time required to change the behavior, then determining the new reaction that is appropriate With the new behavior, the child gets attention and focus to stimulate him to change.


The consequences benefit in a better way than punishment more effectively, as they lead to the right behavior directly, and there are types of consequences. In the beginning, the natural consequences and these consequences come as a direct result of the forces of nature.

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